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GTO, Coaching for Humans, Kirsten Johansen, Coach Change Life Health Happiness, Food Exercise Body Image, Find Meaning Purpose Freedom, Personal Individual Collaborative Creative Coaching, Career Leadership Executive Business Coaching
GTO, Coaching for Humans, Kirsten Johansen, Coach Change Life Health Happiness, Food Exercise Body Image, Find Meaning Purpose Freedom, Personal Individual Collaborative Creative Coaching, Career Leadership Executive Business Coaching

Embracing Your Body: Building a Positive and Supportive Relationship with Yourself

"One of the greatest sources of suffering endured by the human body is the hatred heaped upon it by the voices in our heads."

-Kirsten


nude body in black and white

For some of us, that self-criticizing voice is such a long-conditioned part that we don't even realize that it is our inner critic lying to us and not for us. It is not supportive; it is not kind. One way to identify it is to ask, " Is this a supportive and kind thing I'm saying to myself?" If the answer is no, it is your inner critic, fear, self-doubt, or self-hate's foot soldiers.

And what if you need clarification on what is supportive and helpful? Many of us believe we NEED our inner critic, or we would be a woeful pile of hedonistic goo. Yes, it wants us to think that so we continue to serve its purpose instead of our own. You read that right. Self-hate steals our purpose and creates a deception of hateful, demeaning, self-rejecting thoughts. Were it only to be silenced, we could get on with our purposeful walk through life.


A quick shortcut: Imagine yourself telling someone you love the same things self-hate is saying to you.

Outstretched feet in black and white

There is not anything wrong with your body. You can choose (yes, it's difficult and takes practice after all these years of hating on it) to accept your body as it is in its current size/health/shape/ability and to love, appreciate, and accept it as you would a beloved friend you cannot live without. Not only are you going to be able to experience the joy of life without that voice going at you, but when it comes time to make a choice for your body, the love you have cultivated for it will lead you to a supportive choice. One right for you and

your body, because you know know each other best and are now free to communicate without self-hate butting in.


The voice will be loud and agressive when you are on the precipice of a decision. It might be a grain-of-sand decision such as what to eat for dinner or whether to go to the gym after work, or more of a sand castle like whether to have gastic or costmetic surgery. This is the most challenging and the most rewarding time to practice. It's like HIIT.


Disruptor: To break the intrusive thought pattern as well as the typical resulting anesthesia behavior, use a disruptor. It is your cue that self-hate is in the room. I like to choose a light-hearted one because it reminds me that this is a conditioned voice, and continuing to tangle with it as if it has anything of value to offer me, is absurd.

Hands reaching toward the light

  1. Use a nonsense word or phrase. Mine is, "there's a ninkimpoop sitting on the davenport eating pumpernikel."

  2. Dance a jigiity jig. Yep, just break into dance, and channel Elaine Benes or Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

  3. Speak a mantra aloud. Mine is, "Who gives a shit?!" And, it's not rhetorical. I answer my own question with the truest of retorts, "Nobody, that's who!"


For additional resources, check out Redisign your Mind by Eric Maisel and Chatter by Ethan Cross.

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